Queer Birth: Two Considerations for LGBTQIA+ Families

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Pregnancy, childbirth and new parenting is often filled with moments of stress and overwhelm. It’s a challenge to navigate when there is misinformation, gaps of information, and often a whole lot of contradictory, and outdated information surrounding the whole experience. As a queer person, there are more unique considerations once you decide to build a family. How will the baby get made? Who will carry said baby? How much will all this baby making cost? How will we be treated throughout the baby making, and baby having process? 

This article discusses some of the roadblocks queer families face, which can all be over generalized by saying mainstream spaces are created by and for cisgender, heterosexual  people having babies. And, the reality is this is true everywhere from fertility clinics to birth classes and postpartum “mother-baby” units in the hospital. It can be exhausting for queer parents to constantly translate hyper-gendered language and explain their family dynamics to each and every professional you meet.

Work with Queer-Affirming Providers! 

Ideally, every LGBTQIA+ person would be able to work with queer-affirming obstetricians, midwives, doulas, childbirth educators, body workers, and mental health professionals.Because everyone pregnant, regardless of sexual orientation, gender, race, age, size, and ability deserves to work with providers who provide patient centered care. 

In a time where conveyor belt perinatal care is the norm, how do you go about finding these professionals? In our biased opinion, doulas and childbirth educators have the broadest resources lists. Connecting to a queer-affirming doula or childbirth educator in your area will likely be the best way to connect to the other professionals you’ll want to work with. And, for better or worse, Instagram is a phenomenal way of connecting with Doulas and Birth Educators these days. 

Alternatively, All Things Birth for Queer Families, is a totally free, interactive webinar we host a few times a year for folx figuring out everything from how to get the baby in to how to get the baby out. We’ll also share resources for what to be thinking about and who to be working with in between. Next up: Nov 7th at 12:00pm EST. 

Take a queer-affirming Birth Class! 

For many LGBTQIA+ pregnant folks, taking a childbirth ed class with mostly cisgender, heterosexual couples can feel isolating. You may have questions that pertain to your experience as a queer birthing person but be afraid to ask in front of the whole class. While all of Birth Smarter’s Childbirth Education classes are inclusive (gender neutral language is the default for example), our One-Day Birth Class for Queer Families is taught by a Queer educator and gives Queer families the space to feel fully seen, heard and understood. Preparing to deliver is about more than just education; it’s about building community, finding connection, and leaving the class feeling more confident about your birth and parenthood journey. 

Until then, we highly recommend digging into books like Confessions of the Other Mother , a book about Lesbian parenting, Where’s the Mother, stories from a Transgender Dad, or Rad Dad, an inclusive take on “fatherhood.”

Check out the new LGBTQ Birth Site, Woven Bodies, Braving Doula Collective, Moss The Doula, and Jenna Brown’s work for more.

Please reach out if you could use support navigating fertility, pregnancy, or parenting. We will do our best to connect you with information and professionals we trust. And share: what other resources do you love for Queer Family Building?

FWIW, Birth Smarter’s curriculum is unbiased, inclusive, and realistic. We begin each class by acknowledging the political and cultural context of childbirth (looking at you, 2020!). We break down the physiology of birth in a way that builds confidence in the human body and teaches your support team to improvise no matter the journey. In our class for Queer families specifically, we discuss creating a birth space that feels safe and making sure you and your birth partner(s) are treated with respect. 

Our next One-Day class for Queer Families is on December 12th with Beth Hardy, or you can explore the full schedule or purchase our pre-recorded version here. Class is $295/family with Pay-What-You-Can Spots available, as with all of our classes.  

Beth was featured on the Yoga | Birth | Babies podcast, hosted by Prenatal Yoga Center. Check out her episode: Supporting Queer, Trans, Non-Binary Folks In Pregnancy, Birth And Postpartum With Beth Hardy!

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